We all need support sometimes. It’s only human. Mental health struggles can leave people feeling very lonely and isolated, which is precisely the opposite of what a person needs when they are experiencing difficulties. At Carolina Dunes Behavioral Health in Leland, North Carolina, we want to give you the tools to expand your support system.
Taking Inventory
Start by making a list of the people who are currently positive supports in your life. This might include:
- Friends
- Family
- Therapist
- Support groups
- Recovery meetings
- Colleagues
- Members of a club you’re in
- Volunteer connections
- Players on a sports team you’ve joined
- Spiritual leaders
- Online contacts
Your list might be very short or rather long. The quality of your support may be a lot more important than the number of people you could contact.
Types of Support
There are four primary types of social support. These include:
Emotional
- Hugs
- Listening
- Empathy
- Reassurance
- Validation
- Comforting words
- Physical presence
- Checking in
Esteem
- Confidence boosts
- Reminders of your strengths
- Encouragement
- Compliments
- Acknowledging your accomplishments
- Celebrating successes
- Challenging negative self-talk
Informational
- Providing facts or information
- Offering problem-solving ideas
- Teaching you about something
- Helping you find a resource
- Step-by-step instructions
- Money, legal, health, or job advice
Tangible
- Lending money
- Helping you get somewhere
- Doing chores with or for you
- Bringing meals when you’re sick
- Offering childcare or help with transporting children
- Running errands
- Helping with a move
Exploring Your Supports
It’s helpful to understand what type of support you have and what you could be lacking:
- Next to each name on your list, write down which of these four types of support you feel they offer to you.
- Which types of support are you able to offer them?
- Is there one type of support you are lacking in your life?
- Is there anyone on your list who might have ideas for how you can develop that type of support?
Reaching Out for Connection
Each day, reach out to at least one person on your list of supportive people via phone, text, email, social media, or a pre-arranged face-to-face meeting. Share openly and honestly about what is on your mind. You can talk about your concerns but also try to stay constructive and be receptive to ideas and feedback.
Also, be sure to listen to the other person about what struggles they are having and what support you might be able to offer them. Reaching out, just to say hello and check in, even when you don’t need anything, is a good way to let people know you are thinking about them and value them as a person, and not just as a way to get what you want.
Reaching Out for Support
When you are struggling, take a look at your list and think about who might be able to help. Be specific about what kind of help you need.
If there is no one currently on your list who can offer the help you need, is there someone on the list who can help connect you to the right help?
Expanding Your Support Network
If you feel like you need more supportive people in your life, take a look at the categories on your list and consider where you might be able to develop more or stronger connections.
- Do you have colleagues you’d like to approach about hanging out together?
- Have you been considering joining a faith community?
- Would volunteering give you an enhanced sense of purpose?
- Is there an online “friend” you might like to meet in person?
- Do you have a friend or family member you have been missing and would like to spend more time around?
At Carolina Dunes Behavioral Health, we know the value of a strong support system. We want our patients to know that we are in their corner and that they have supportive family, friends, and communities that they can also rely on in good times and difficult ones.
