Watching someone you love struggle with mental illness, can cause feelings of hopelessness. Sometimes, it might seem like there is nothing you can do to help them. While you may not have the expertise of a trained professional, as a friend or family member, your role in the life of a person with a mental illness is just as important. At Carolina Dunes Behavioral Health in Leland, North Carolina, we value the contributions that our clients’ natural supports make to their lives and we want to remind you of the healing power of your love.
What You Can Do for Your Loved One
The people who love a person with a mental health diagnosis can make their lives better in a variety of ways:
- Break the silence and address the stigma that surrounds mental illness. Talking to friends, family, colleagues, and others who may not be familiar with mental health disorders can help dispel myths and create a world that is more supportive of people who experience mental illness.
- Educate yourself about the diagnosis your friend or family member is experiencing and their specific symptoms. When we become more familiar with a person’s symptoms, we are less likely to take things personally that are a part of their condition.
- Become a safe space for your loved one to discuss their mental health struggles and know that they will find support and help. We all need empathy and validation from people who care about us, and that is just as true for people who are coping with a mental health disorder. We also need to know that it is okay for us to do things on our own timetable. There’s no deadline a person is required to make in their mental health recovery and each person’s journey is entirely unique.
- Research treatment options for your loved one’s condition. Before discussing treatment options with your friend or family member, focus on building trust and ensuring they know you love and support them unconditionally. Create a safe space where they feel comfortable opening up. Remember to ask for permission before bringing up treatment, as they might not always be ready or willing to have that conversation—especially with everyone in their life.
- Be an advocate. This can be particularly helpful if your friend or family member does not feel like their treatment team is listening to them or they want to explore different treatment options and have trouble vocalizing their needs to the professionals on their team. There may also be barriers to them receiving the care they need, which you can help to address, such as childcare, insurance, or transportation.
What You Can Do for Yourself
Choose your cliché. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Put on your own oxygen mask before trying to help others. You can’t squeeze blood from a turnip. You get the point. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be much help to anyone else. Your friend or family member who is experiencing mental illness needs you to stay healthy. Some ways you can do that are:
- Build up your loved one’s network of support and your own support system, so that you don’t become burned out by trying to meet their needs, all alone and unsupported. This could mean getting yourself and your friend or family member into therapy, support groups, a house of worship, hobbies, or other groups where you will meet others and find comfort.
- Normalize self-care by modeling good sleep, exercise, eating, and other habits and inviting your loved one to join you, so that they can engage in healthy habits alongside someone important to them and not feel like they only have to make these choices because of their mental illness. Understanding that we must all practice good self-care transforms it from a punishment to a lifestyle choice.
- Give yourself permission to take a break. No matter how much you love the people in your life, caregiving can be difficult, stressful, and emotionally exhausting. To avoid burning out, you need some time away to focus on yourself. The additional support you and your loved one have around you may be able to help you make a plan for getting regular rest from your caregiving role.
At Carolina Dunes Behavioral Health, we include our patients’ families in the treatment process whenever possible. We consider loved ones to be valuable allies to our clients and we want to ensure that they have the best tools possible, to support our patients’ long-term recovery goals.
