The holidays can be a great time to reconnect with loved ones, enjoy good food, and experience the generosity of the season. Unfortunately, they can also be incredibly stressful and damaging to mental health. At Carolina Dunes Behavioral Health in Leland, North Carolina, we help our patients plan for the holidays in a way that allows them to embrace the joy and manage the stress.
How Holidays Put a Strain on Mental Health
You aren’t a grinch, if you have found that the end of the year leaves you feeling frazzled. One study found that around 38 percent of people struggle during November and December and 64 percent of people with mental health diagnoses say their conditions worsen at this time, for a variety of reasons:
- Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) – this form of depression is often worst in the winter months, which overlaps Thanksgiving, Christmas, and other holidays in the northern hemisphere. Symptoms of this condition are similar to other forms of depression or may look like a worse case of depression in someone who already struggles with a different depressive disorder.
- Disruptions to structure and routine – going to Christmas parties, spending time with people you love and shopping for gifts can be fun, but the time you invest in doing these things has to come from somewhere. For many people, this may mean they are not sleeping as much, not spending as much time at the gym or preparing healthy meals, not attending therapy, or otherwise neglecting important self-care. Even time off of work or school, which may be a welcome break, can leave a person feeling a bit disoriented and lacking in direction because of the disruption to a predictable routine.
- Forced contact with toxic family members – if your gatherings with loved ones include someone who is unpleasant or downright hostile, it may put a serious damper on your enthusiasm for those events and leave you wondering if you even want to go.
- Financial strain from buying gifts and the cost of attending special events – the awesome outfit for your work party, presents for all of the people in your life, food and décor for events you are hosting, and the cost of transportation to visit loved ones who live far away can become huge expenses.
- Increased exposure to alcohol – Alcohol can lead to all sorts of trouble, whether you’re drinking or you’re around people who are drinking, particularly if there is a tendency to overindulge and if anyone is experiencing an alcohol use disorder.
- Grieving friends and family who are no longer available to share the holidays – the holidays are a time when many people feel sadness for loved ones who are no longer here or who are just too far away to see face-to-face.
How to Keep the Holidays Jolly
By taking a proactive approach, you can reduce how much stress you experience and manage whatever challenges are likely to arise:
- Consider what part of the festivities you find challenging and what options you have for managing these difficulties. This might mean declining invitations, reducing how much money you spend on aspects of your celebrations, or having an exit plan for events where you might be exposed to people who aren’t good for you.
- Manage your expectations. Remember that there is no such thing as a “perfect” holiday. If you cannot do every item on your to-do list, that does not mean the holiday is ruined.
- Set boundaries to protect your mental health. Know what you will do if people in your life don’t respect your boundaries. If you aren’t sure how to properly set boundaries, this might be a good discussion to have with your therapist or other mentors.
- Create a plan to keep yourself healthy. If therapy, support groups, a firm exercise routine or church have been important to keeping you steady prior to the holidays, don’t skip them now.
- Be on the lookout for signs that your mental health is suffering, such as changes in mood, sleeping patterns, or appetite. When you notice indications that your mental health is worsening, re-evaluate your plan to see if you need to make changes, reach out to your support system, and make sure you’re setting aside enough self-care time.
- Avoid alcohol and other substances – if you’re already feeling like your mental health is taking a hit from the holidays, resist the urge to cope with alcohol or drugs.
Managing Loneliness and Grief
It is a sad reality that sometimes people we care about have died or that we must be isolated from those we love. If you find yourself in this position, you may find it helpful to:
- Make plans with other family and friends
- Spend time on solitary activities that you enjoy
- Volunteer at an animal shelter, soup kitchen, or other organization that requires holiday help
- Develop a private ritual to remember and celebrate people you have lost
- Consider connecting with a faith community, if this resonates with you
- Join an in-person or virtual grief support group
At Carolina Dunes Behavioral Health, we support adolescents, adults, and seniors who are struggling with mental illness. We also help their families to learn new ways to support them as they enter recovery.
