If the idea of someone you care about attempting to end their own life makes you uncomfortable, you are not alone. This is a difficult topic to think about, and even more challenging to talk about. At Carolina Dunes Behavioral Health in Leland, North Carolina, we want to give you the tools you need to support anyone you know who might be experiencing suicidal thoughts, and that may mean getting used to feeling discomfort sometimes.
Who Is Most at Risk for Suicide Attempts?
Suicidal ideation may be more common than you think. A lot of people experience suicidal thoughts at some point in their lives. There are certain things that can increase the chances of someone acting on those thoughts.
Some examples include:
- Having friends or family who have died by suicide
- Living in an area where there has been a cluster of suicides
- Employment in a field that results in them witnessing a lot of death, such as law enforcement, healthcare, or military service
- A history of attempting suicide themselves
- A mental health condition, especially a mood disorder, such as depression or bipolar disorder
- Being an abuse survivor
- Feeling lonely, isolated, or hopeless
- Experiencing illness
- Having a more impulsive or aggressive personality
- Having a big loss, particularly related to employment, finances, or relationships
- Inability to access health care for their physical or mental health
- Engaging in self-harm
These factors alone are not enough to predict if someone will or will not make an attempt to end their own life, but they can be a good reason to check in with people in your life who could be struggling.
Spotting Red Flags
If you recognize that someone you know meets some of the criteria above, you can become more mindful of signs that they are actually struggling with suicidal thoughts, which could look like:
- Writing, talking or posting online about death, dying, being a burden to others, feeling like their loved ones would be better off without them, sadness, rage, emptiness, guilt, shame, pain, or other difficult emotions, or having no sense of purpose
- Recent personal trauma
- Researching ways to kill themselves and gathering the things they would use to do so
- Pulling away from other people and isolating themselves
- Wrapping up loose ends by saying goodbye to people, giving away their favorite things, making a will, or buying or updating life insurance policies
- Changes such as seeming more moody, angry, or sad, but also seeming suddenly calm or happy after a long period of anger or sadness
- Increased reckless or unsafe behavior, which could include driving too fast, using substances more heavily or engaging in unsafe sexual behavior
- Sleeping a lot more or a lot less and having a significantly different appetite
- Neglecting their personal hygiene or appearance
How You Can Help
It can be very challenging to admit that someone you love might try to take their own life, even if you can see the signs listed above playing out for them. You might say, “They would never do that.” Unfortunately, when a person is in a place dark enough to see no other way out, they sometimes do things that are outside their typical behavior, so you need to act right away.
- Ask them. If they aren’t thinking about ending their life, asking about suicidal thoughts is not likely to cause any harm. Not asking, however, might fuel their belief that no one cares.
- Listen. Even if what they are saying is difficult to hear, taking the time to let them describe what they are feeling will help them to see that you care.
- Stay with them. Do not leave the person alone until you have ensured their safety or found someone else to stay with them.
- Make a safety plan. If someone tells you that they are thinking about suicide, believe them. Find out if they have whatever they would use to kill themselves and help them to make a plan to secure those items and keep themselves safe, such as locking up sharp objects, finding someone to hold on to their extra pills, or storing their firearms until the urge to take their life passes.
- Reach out for help. There are different places to get support, depending on the person’s situation. This can include existing mental health providers such as therapists, psychiatrists, or other support professionals. You can also call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline, to reach a trained crisis counselor. Other resources include the Veteran’s Lifeline, where Vets can call, text, or chat online, Trans Lifeline, where transgender people can reach out for support in times of crisis, and the Trevor Project, a resource for LGBT+ young people.
- Call 911 or drive to the nearest emergency room if the person is unable to create a safety plan that will keep them safe, and you need to get them immediate support.
At Carolina Dunes Behavioral Health, we know that recovery is possible, even when a person has been at a very low point. We provide rapid stabilization services for acute psychiatric issues, which is often the first step to recovering from suicidal ideation.
